Dear Crew:
Today is April 20th and the start of RAAM is less than two months away. After much thought, reflection and numerous discussions with my family, friends, coach and medical team, I have decided to pull-out of this year's race and postpone my quest to finish Solo RAAM to June 2010.
Before I go any further I want to let you know how much I have appreciated your willingness to support me during '09 RAAM and the personal time and effort you have already put into the race thus far.
I truly feel we have a dream crew in place - you are an outstanding group of individuals to support such an ambitious goal . And you all were willing to give up vacation, work commitments, your own races and leave your families behind to support me. This means the world to me and I am sorry we can't go all the way to Anapolis together (at least not this year ;-)
There is nothing I enjoy more than achieving a BHAG (Big Hairy Audacious Goal) with great friends. That's what ultracycling/randonneuring in general and RAAM specifically is all about for me.
I also really don't like not finishing something I have started. I have always maintained that there are only two legitimate reasons for DNF-ing an ultra event: possibility of permanent damage or immediate life danger. So pulling out does not come easy to me.
So what has lead me to this decision?
- The knee injury I now have been dealing with for the last three months has gotten somewhat better but I am clearly not where I need to be. I am ok gently spinning. However, as soon as I increase the wattage the knee starts to hurt (at about 250 Watts). Getting out of the saddle is bad news. A 2.5 hr easy hilly ride on Friday left my knee inflamed. My knee is not in a position to take on any long or hard rides right now - at what should be a critical point in my training.
- My injured left leg is now significantly weaker than the right one. This has lead to a misaligned pelvis (aren't you glad you know ;-) and a number of annoying aches and pains on the 'good side': strained muscle in my groin and knee and calve tenderness. Ramping up my training would most likely make the misalignment worse and lead to more aches/pains.
- I am getting mentally exhausted dealing with the injury. Virtually every day I am at a rehab appointment, while trying to maintain some sort of light alternative training regime, fulfilling my duties at work and being a decent husband and father. It has become increasingly difficult to keep my spirits high while watching the clock tick and not being able to train pain free.
Looking back from where I sit now it might not come as a surprise that my body is rebelling. The last 18 months were pretty intense. I started a new job in the investment advising world which I love but which ended up being quite stressful because of all the turmoil in the financial markets.
Catherine and I had our second son Liam who is a great kid but who has been a horrendous sleeper for the first 13 months of his life. We can in fact count the number of nights we slept without interruption over the last 18 months on one hand. Fortunately, it's SLOWY getting better.
All that said, I had a good season last year with a strong 600 km (24+ hrs solo over four mountain passes), a very enjoyable Cascade 1,200 km with tons of sleep and a pretty good Hoodoo 500 mile race. However, the cumulative stresses over the last year in combination with strenuous RAAM training was obviously too much for my body.
Finishing solo RAAM remains a deeply cherished goal of mine. I finished team RAAM in 2002 and DNF'd 2005 solo RAAM with pulmonary edema resulting in an air lift and two days in ICU. When that happened, there was never a doubt in my mind that I would compete again.
Endurance sports competition has always been the overriding constant in my life and RAAM is arguably the grand daddy of all endurance races: it is by all accounts the hardest and most demanding race in the world. As you know, half of all participants who start don't finish. More people summit Mt Everest every year than have ever finished RAAM in its 26 year history. Wofgang Fasching, the only person who has done both, says that RAAM is physically and mentally more demanding.
When it comes to my own athletic life, there is nothing I want more than to finish solo RAAM.Unfortunately, it's not going to happen in 2009.
So Where to from here?
Over the next few months, I will focus on healing: physically and mentally. I will take some down time and start building from the inside out with a strong core foundation. I will spend a lot of time with my family over this summer. I will catch up on all the normal life things I put on the back burner for the last five months (how about cleaning up that basement honey?).
Come fall, I will build up for a longer ride and then start training for RAAM 2010.I will of course be in touch with you later in the year and and try and recruit you for my 2010 bid ;-).
But for now: thank you once again for your willingness to give it a shot this year! Enjoy planning the three weeks you now have free in June and send me a (virtual) postcard from the beach.
Thanks again for all your support!
Urs
